It's A Beautiful Day

It is beautiful today, the sky is a deep rich blue and only a few clouds dotted the skies, the garden lush and the air, refreshing…how come I didn't notice a day such as today? Now that I think about it I was so absorbed that I never had time to notice the things around me… With a light breath I felt my heartbeat slowing down, the air was simply cool and for once…for once I felt relaxed.

Reflection Report

Monsegue pg. 1

Raven Maya Monsegue

09/30/2014

ENG 1D

Ms. Ragell

      MY REFLECTION ON MY PRAISES AND CRITICISM

Praises:

       I am happy to know that I am a humble person. Humble people tell the truth and kind. I am happy to know at least someone understands that all my life stories are true (even though I rarely speak to some classmates). Being humble means that you serve higher purposes and don't trust leaders, whom put their own success above organization success. Humble leaders put organization success before their own(or in other words their not climbing up the ladder they're going down the stairs). I don't have to be at the top of the heart since we originally start at the bottom. Humble people focus on the responsibility and value of others.They serve others  and brag about others (not themselves). Taking responsibility not blaming others. These are all qualities of a humble person. I sure didn't know I had them but I'm still glad to know I do. I know I'm crazy. I believe it is all in my blood and that I probably got it from father. I always got complains from many saying that I'm to crazy and that I have to mature. I was highly surprise to know that my craziness is also entertaining to some of you. Yes, I am slow at certain and would take a while to get the jokes you all say but that is the natural me and I really don't know how to change that. I am a friendly person. Some might say I'm to friendly because they probably had enough of my friendliness. In my eyes I see everyone as friends, animals, objects (or imaginary friends) and people (include stalker, criminals, drug dealers, etc...). So people don't have to worry that I won't consider them as my friends, you already were since the first time we met.

Criticism:

        I was slightly annoyed I received a comment on my maturity. I know I don't act like my age but that doesn't mean I can't. I choose to stay this way because I know it has always helped me with my "violent issues". You all may not know but I stopped acting my age two to four years ago. It wasn't to get anyone annoyed, no, never, but was to strengthen my connection with the youth and to keep myself steady. I have always been a "daddy's little girl" type of person, and I know for a fact that even when I turn twenty I would still be jumping on him. The reason for this is because my father keeps "Raven" (my violent personality) stable. Father's home was the save-est place for my brother to be when we were younger (I can't damage him there).I will try my best to act more mature just for your liking.Another comment that I was given was on my life story (how I'm always telling people my life story). I only tell those dear to me my problems and it's not like I am telling you the happy things in my life, I am mainly talking about my depression and other things that I know 'can' happen to you as well. I know one day, you might be in a awkward position that there will be quarreling because of you, and I know there will be a day when you are inn a position that you can be raped or nearly were raped. It can happen to everyone and anyone. That's why I thought maybe the head's up will help you one day. But since you have a problem with this I won't bother telling you.

      Yes, I do talk to much and I know you assume that it increased because of my speed while talking. The reason for this is because I always have something to talk about. Some is new information while old things can be exaggerated. Even when I'm telling you information I speak extremely fast. This runs in the family, or at least that is what my father told me. All those with the "Monsegue blood" has the ability to speak fast, I still remember grandpa ( whom from dawn til dusk).  I speak as much as the average student, just a little faster. But will speak less to make you all comfortable. I also have the beautiful feelings toward the longest comment I had, "I feel creeped out when you act crazy and stalker-ish towards boys and when you you are violent because of them. I would like you to act more normal and be the person you truly are." Now that is hilarious! But I shall discuss this in steps, one, some people are naturally and mentally crazy, so you should not judge them on this. But I don't think I have a mental problem so I'll try to fix that. Two, I didn't know I was stalker-ish towards boys but then again, it takes a stalker to know one. I find a better way to interact with the male species.Three, I am not violent toward or because of boys, it's because of the stupid thong that are told about me liking them and (blah, blah, blah) etc... So stop saying stuff about that you don't know anything about, that gets people like you in trouble. Four, I am not violent I am playful, when I am violent I am much, much more than stronger than the average boy. I just forget that I shouldn't play with you guys like that. Five, There is no such thing as "a person who is normal" it has no meaning in a persons personality. But I understand that you want me to change from being abnormal but, my abnormality is what make me original as well as some other aspects about me. Finally, six, I can't be who I want to be, I don't know how to to do it. I am still confused as to 'who' I want to be so I know it's gonna take a while for me to get there. I'll try my best to get there faster so you won't have to be crept out by me.                                                                                                                                                                     

Childish Poem

I like guys, I like me.

I like guys, like my Johnny.

Sweet as sugar, hot as spice.

Better than all other boys, in my life.

I know this is crazy and I'm speaking free.

No one can come between him and me.

I am strong, stronger than a tiger.

To be together, we're willing to walk on fire.

He is mine and I am his,

and one day we'll have the perfect kids.

"Mother" and "Father" always together.

That's the type of life I want, all of now and forever.

Blaming Someone Else Because Of "Your" Anger

I saw light from the inside of my eyelids and knew it was the light of day. I felt the bed still had a sink on both sides of my body. I was surprised I'm not usually the first one up. I heard the whisper of my name so I examined my surroundings. I heard my name again and recognized that the voice was perhaps not in the same area I was. I carefully got off the bed making sure that my mother and brother didn’t wake. I sneaked pass my aunt’s room and entered the kitchen. There I was able to hear the voice a little louder. Something thumped loudly against the door and then a voice bellowed “Maya get up!”  I climbed onto the kitchen counter and glanced through the window. Just behind the door was a chocolate skinned boy, his fist was slamming against the door as he yelled my name. I suddenly notice a grunt that came from the room next to me. I quickly, yet silently opened the door and covered the boys mouth. I wait three minutes just in case my aunt woke up, then released my hold. “Sorry dude, but Auntie Sandra and Uncle Frank are still asleep, call them later,” was all I had to say to the boy before I slammed the door in his face. Sooner than the door could shot, he shoved his hand in causing it to hit his wrist. I felt annoyed that his person was so persistent, yet groaned as my sleepiness came back. The young lad opened the door saying “Maya come nah; I need to talk to you.” I watch his darker chocolate eyes and replied grumpily, “Sorry, but I’m still exhausted and would like to rest.” I was about to slam the door again when I was suddenly pulled out the kitchen and pushed into the hammock in the yard. He closed the kitchen door soundlessly and walked towards me. I was still drained from the night before, thus I was in a daze. He snatched one of the chairs and took a seat just ahead of me. “Oh God Maya, when will you wake up,” he screeched, he climbed though the neighbor’s kitchen window and went in the freezer. Seconds later he crawled out the window and came to me with a dark blue bowl in his hand. I watched as he walked towards me again before all black. I saw my aunt’s daughter sitting on my lap “Mommy I have a puppy” she screamed with joy and pulled a small snow white puppy from a box that was suddenly on her lap. She pulled the collar of my top and dropped the puppy in. In the spit second the puppy touched my chest I felt cold ice and was immediately brought back to reality. In a flash I pulled my upper body up in a sitting position and saw a stupid smirk on the face before me. I soon identified the smirk and slapped the face in front of me (the neighbor’s second son). “Aleem, what the hell did you just do,” I growled, the bowl in his hand fell and water leaked out. My chest was freezing so I looked down, the upper part of me was soaked. I looked inside my top, discovering a few blocks of ice. “You better have a good reason for doing this” I snared.

           “I want a rematch,” was all he had to say while he laid a huge piece of cardboard on the floor by his family’s garden. He stood on one side and I stood opposite him. “Boy you woke me up just for this? You do know I’m not allowed out here till Auntie Sandra wakes up right?” I knew he liked to fight me but did he really have to bother me so early in the morning? Plus, I don’t want to get scolded by Sandra either “Well we can keep this a secret. And I don’t like to lose and I’m not so weak that I’ll lose to a girl,” he replied. His reply hit a nerve, my body was suddenly filled with energy. I got in my stance, he counted to three and rushed towards me. He had me in a choke hold for a few seconds before I loosen the muscles in my legs and gravity did its job, He had such a tight hold of me that he went down too. I was prepared for the pain that would occur when we hit the ground and recovered quickly but he wasn't. I pushed him into a kneeling position, I jumped as high as I can and push all my weight and strength into my elbow and hit him directly on his back. He let out a loud cry and his body dropped. He started to cry and I lost my irritation, I looked down stunned, every time he stopped his cries was to spit out blood. I tried to help him up while rubbing his back to comfort him. There were then loud noises coming from his house, his two sisters, Alisha (younger sister) and Aleema (older sister), ran outside. They helped him up and carried him inside.

       I attempted to sneak back into the kitchen (of my aunt’s house), as I reached in my aunt and mother were at the front of me wearing a frown. “What going on outside,” auntie Sandra’s asked her Spanish accent loud and clear. “Aleem woke me up and we played wrestling,” was my reply and then there was a loud scream from the next door. I starred at Sandra biting my nails as she watched out the window; I could sense my mom staring at me. We heard a knock on the door so Sandra opened it, the neighbor’s oldest son, Cardo came over, and the instant his eyes met my worried ones he smiled. “Morning” he mumbled and came inside. I realized I was still in my PJs so I ran to my room and changed. When I came back, Cardo was still there, the moment I entered he watched me and smile. I was not use to him watching me so much in the morning so I gave him a perplex look. He laughed and spoke a bit muffled, “guess what Aleem’s doing right now,” then spat out a red block of ice. My face dropped, Sandra didn’t get it but mom did. She stared into my eyes, “Maya, I don’t want to hear you fighting with anyone's child again. Understand?” I nod my head and left. I stayed outside for the entire day. I blamed Aleem for what I did and avoided him for the day. I hung out with his sisters, Cardo and sometimes Tira. Every time he glanced at me I would turn away or use unclean language to disrespect him. Whenever we were out of sight we fought and in public we argue.
      I knew what I did was wrong and for months we were at each others throat. I never had the courage to apologize. I should have handled the situation better. After a long while we forgave each other. We had not apologize but he forgot the reason he was so angry. I didn't want to lose anyone close to me so I chose to let the anger go. Soon a beautiful friendship blossomed. Right now I thank God everyday for allowing us to come at peace. We still wrestle and fight out of adults' sight because I might get in trouble but we all became a family.

You Are You

    No one in this world is perfect. So you shouldn't feel down if someone doesn't like you. You are not perfect neither am I. So not everyone is gong to like you. But keep in mind God will always love you. Don't wish to be someone else. Feel happy that you are you.

No Rough Playing

    A few days ago I was suspended from school. I playfully head butted one of friends little sister, lets call her Jane. I forgot I couldn't play like this in school. I like to play rough, but this isn't for everyone. After I butted Jane, it took me a while to notice her crying. I apologized so many times but I couldn't stop her from crying. A few minutes later the principal spoke to me saying that what I did was "some insane behavior" and she suspend me for two days because Jane also said I punched her in the head. As I spent the days with my always busy mother, I thought about what I did. Even if I like to play rough some people won't like to playing like that. Some people may not know me as good as my family does. So they might misunderstand. And assume I'm trying to abuse the child. What I'm going to stick to doing is to rough playing with my family members outside of school. And be careful with the people I play with.

Half Naked

  Six years ago, I was having a regular school day. I played P.E. with my classmates and it was really fun. I thought it was going to be the same as everyday with me hanging out with my best friends Millie Tania and Ann Hako. I wouldn't have ever thought that today would be one of the most embarrassing days of my life. After the class finished playing soccer the bell rang for lunch. Everyone went to the classroom to collect their change of clothes. Some students left to change in the washroom while a few stayed in class. Millie stayed in class, so I stayed too. Normally, I would go under the table to change but on that day I decided to change behind the classroom door. After I changed into my skirt and took off my P.E. shirt I heard a voice with a Spanish accent getting louder and louder. Before I got a chance to think another word the door moved and the first thing I saw was the face of my dear crush Fabio Leon. Not knowing I was behind the door, he jumped. I felt time froze, without even thinking I covered my chest. Fabio noticed the movement of my hand and glance down at my chest. Apparently that is when he realized that I was trying to cover myself. He quickly said "sorry" about eight times before backing up and closing the door. I couldn't move. 'Fabio just saw me in my sports bra.' I felt my brain freeze, repeating those words over and over until I had a feeling I was being watched. I turned around and in the small crack of the closed door I saw piece of someone's caramel face with curly hair. I gasped the first thing that came to my mind "Oh my God!""Oh crap" the face said and quickly disappeared. I looked for my shirt and realized I dropped it. I picked up my top, and then froze a second time now recognizing the owner of the caramel face, Alejandro. I face slapped myself for letting my other crush see me like this. I kept slapping myself thinking this day couldn't get worse until I heard a gasp that I know wasn't my own. I turned again and through the crack saw a next face which was a little darker than Alejandro. The owner of that faced noticed me pull my shirt to cover my chest and saw my face looking in their direction. "Oh God" was what the person said before disappearing. I recognized the person’s voice instantly, Marcus. I put on my shirt and my tie and quickly fled before someone else saw me. The bell rung to end lunch, and my classroom was filled again. The talk for the rest of the day was me behind the door. I soon gained nickname "Naked Maya". Every time one of my classmates sees me they say "Hey Naked Maya". It kept reminding me of the incident. I can't tackle Alejandro or Fabio when playing because they saw me. I just didn't know what to do. I appeared now shyer than I usually am. I couldn't talk to people as the normal me. So I disguised myself. I never said anything when people called me these things. When going through problems like this, it’s best just to be patient, and everyone will soon forget that the event has ever happened.